It was Liam Calhoun’s sixth birthday. His father always made a big deal about birthdays.
But that morning, his dad didn’t come down for his birthday breakfast until the end, to sing “Happy Birthday” and then he went back to bed.
Liam’s father, Bill Calhoun, had been sick for a few days and he was planning on going to the doctor that day. But after Liam got on the bus to go to school, Bill suddenly collapsed and was rushed to the hospital, where he was pronounced dead. He was 47 years old.
He had sepsis, a life-threatening medical condition that started with an unknown infection. He left his wife, Jessica, and their four children under the age of 6. The littlest was Rian, who was nine months old.
Bill died in 2010. The Calhoun children and their mom, who live in Andover, mourned and missed their dad and husband and the years went by and the kids grew up, surrounded by community and family and supported by their various sports teams, coaches and parents.
Last Saturday, the Calhoun kids’ sports worlds converged -– as they have many times in the past — and Jessica lamented once again that she could only be at one place at a time. And the feeling returned -– once again — that their father, who loved sports, would have loved to watch his kids excel.
Liam, a Wesleyan senior, was competing in the NCAA Division III Mideast Regional cross country championships in Canton, N.Y. If the Cardinals qualified, they would go to their second straight NCAA championship.
Rian, now a junior at RHAM High School, was playing with the her volleyball team for its fourth state title in the last five years.
Jessica went to volleyball and cheered as RHAM won its 11th state championship, 3-2, over Joel Barlow at East Haven High. RHAM senior Meredith Weir was named the MVP with 26 kills and 20 digs and Rian, a setter, had 43 assists, five kills and nine digs in the back-and-forth match.
“It was very exciting to be there with my team,” Rian said. “It was a super close match.”
Earlier in the morning, in New York, Liam’s cross country team finished fourth, qualifying for nationals. Despite a nagging hip injury, Liam — who is usually one of the top runners — finished fourth on his team (35th overall) and was named all-regional for the third time. The Cardinals will compete Saturday in the NCAA Division III championships in Spartanburg, S.C.
Jessica watched a livestream of the race, sitting on the floor of the RHAM cafeteria after the volleyball moms made a team breakfast Saturday.
“He’s a really good sport,” Jessica said of Liam. “There’s been a couple of times where he said, ‘It was so special, I wish you were there,’ but he tries not to make me feel badly.
“There was a really big race last year when Rian had club (volleyball) and Liam won. I felt so bad. I kept telling him his father was there in spirit – he’s very spiritual – so I think that does carry a lot of weight with him.”
Jessica was an athlete – she played field hockey, basketball and was on the track team in high school. Bill played football and baseball in high school and softball, tennis and golf as an adult. Before his kids came along, he ran marathons and the Manchester Road Race. He was a huge fan of the Red Sox, New York Giants, Whalers and UConn basketball and football.
“He would have been like a kid in a candy store, just so thrilled,” Jessica said of watching his children play sports. “It’s bittersweet for me to not be able to directly share those moments with him, when we could be there together, or share and talk about them after.
“But I do very much survive with a strong feeling of trusting and knowing that he is still there, just in a different way.”
‘I tell people Rian saved my life’
After Bill – who worked at the Hartford Courant in the sports and payroll departments – and Jessica got married in 2003, they had three kids in succession: Liam, Caelyn and Alana. Rian came along a few years later.
Liam, who is majoring in biology and music at Wesleyan and is planning to go to graduate school to be a physical therapist, remembers his father the most.
“I remember a lot of playing catch in the house with a little football and my mom would get upset about it,” Liam said. “The more she got upset, the more my dad would continue to throw things.”
He remembered his father stringing his road race bibs together and hanging them behind his bedroom door. Now he and Rian do the same thing.
When his father died, the community and family came together to help and that continued through the kids’ formative years.
“There were so many dads that brought me to practices throughout my childhood,” Liam said. “Probably 20 different dads. My mom was busy bringing my sisters places and they would volunteer to help.”
Liam played soccer and baseball, but he started to concentrate on running his sophomore year of high school. He holds 10 school records at RHAM and two at Wesleyan. Sports always made him feel like he had a family surrounding him.
“I knew I didn’t have a father that was around and other people did, but I didn’t feel like I didn’t have a father figure in my life,” he said.
In the awful days following her husband’s death, Jessica said having baby Rian helped her and the family cope.
“There’s something about Rian that carried us through,” Jessica said. “Rian, as a baby, didn’t know anything had happened and I tell people, at the time, that I feel like Rian saved my life.
“I was nursing at the time, and I would have forgotten to eat. I would have of course cared for the other children, but I had to take care of myself in order to take care of her.”
Rian never knew her father. But, as Jessica said, “She was also spared the pain of that huge change. So she was happy when he was there and happy after he passed so we all survived on her joy, her smiles and keeping her happy.
“I think that’s very much the personality of a setter in volleyball; they are supposed to keep energy and joy and perspective and support and celebrate every play. I think that’s something natural to her, through her whole life.”
Caelyn, now a junior at UConn, was the first to play volleyball at RHAM. Coach Tim Guernsey had heard about Caelyn, who was tall, through some other volleyball parents and the parents reached out and asked if Caelyn wanted to play.
She tried the sport for the first time as a freshman. Her sister Alana, now a sophomore at the Berklee College of Music in Boston, followed her. They would sing the national anthem at home games and then go out and play and RHAM would win, more often than not. Alana was part of three state titles (2021, ’22 and ’23) and Caelyn two (2021 and ’22).
“In addition to the athleticism and all that they learn, they learn so much more than volleyball,” Jessica said. “It’s such a blessing my girls were a part of it.”
Rian started playing volleyball in sixth grade. She became a setter in high school, starting as a sophomore, and has more than 1,000 career assists.
“I can’t speak highly enough about Rian,” Liam said. “Caelyn and Alana were competitive, and they liked sports and they were athletic and talented, but Rian has that competitive drive that I think I have, but she might have it more. She’s better at everything than me and my sisters were.
“Watching her play, it feels like I’m a parent. She’s such a leader. Every time I see her, I tell her she’s a legend because she is.”
Guernsey said Rian works hard and is a good leader.
“She’s very similar to Liam,” he said. “I’ve had all three girls; she’s the last of the Calhouns.”
But Guernsey is also quick to add she has something very much in common with her siblings.
“All just great kids,” he said. “They were raised well.”