Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite holidays. I smile at the memory of me as a young boy in 4th grade, at Kennelly School, shyly leaving a card on the desk of the pig-tailed little girl who sat in front of me.
I even remember sharing with her, a small box of colored hard candy hearts, that I bought at the Brookside Drugstore, on the corner of Hillside and New Britain avenues. Of course, as the years passed by as they inevitably do, this day took on a much deeper meaning for me.
Once upon another time I was a Catholic priest. I remember sitting in a quiet hospital room, with no Valentine decorations covering the private walls of a curtained room. The whispered prayers of loved ones blessed that quiet place, as forever fare wells were whispered. Later, in another career path, as a police officer, I remember a cold Valentine night where a drunk driver would forever alter any happy memories of this day for the parents of several seriously injured children. This day would be forever about tears.
I am an old man now, having worn many hats and having lived many Valentine’s Days. As a father and grandfather I know that this is a time for red ribbons and carefully chosen cards. I also know it is a time for more than romance, as lovely and precious as that is. There is a deeper invitation in this day, for all of us. Valentine’s Day is a time for me to ask how well am I my loving the people in my life, my family, my friends, and all whom my God has blessed me with, as we meet along our way.
Silence has been an important part of my life, ironic for a man who has seen so much that is without quiet. Perhaps this appreciation stems from my early days in the seminary. Maybe this appreciation comes from my many 20 years of cruiser time, experiencing some solitary moments, interrupted by panic and chaos. Later, as the director of communications for a large law firm, I relished early hours with few if any staff sharing my time. Reflection has always been important to my soul.
I have come to know that love lives in quiet places. I believe that love still lives, even in this terrible time of turmoil that wraps our country’s daily headlines of tragedy and hatred. Hearts and flowers do not well dance with the sad music of tear gas and tears, tragedy and turmoil. Love still is.
It lives in marriages that survive dysfunction and find what commitment means. It lives in the care of parents for their children, and vice versa. It lives in the moments of kindness where others pick us up when we falter and fall, along our own ways through this valley of sometimes tears. These actions are not news worthy. They are heart worthy. They are the reminders that this day is about much more than cards and flowers.
I proclaim loudly from the corners of my own life that love is far from perfect. I am an expert in my own need of forgiveness at times, and sometimes patience too. I also know that love requires sincere effort. Talk is cheap. Reaching out to someone who has hurt us, who pride has kept us from meeting, is not some grand gesture. It is reconciliation though, and we all need that, in our hearts, in our homes, and I our country too.
Today we will exchange gifts and cards, share hugs and laughter. I hope that we can all remember there is a deeper purpose for this day. Let’s choose forgiveness over judgement, kindness over indifference, and bridges to one another instead of walls.
Valentine’s Day reminds us that love is not something we celebrate on one special day each year. We are called to live it every day.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Chick Pritchard is a retired Farmington police officer, former Farmington Town Council person, author, and a director of communications.