Gordon Baird’s daughter, Alliyah, 14, was never far from his mind.
She remained his hope in the darkest moments when he was in and out of the prison system for nonviolent offenses for the past 14 years.
“It was super depressing and I always wanted to be with my child and did not have the ability to be,” he told the Courant in an interview. “I always loved my daughter and not being with her made it harder.”
The 37-year-old Norwich resident said his separation from his daughter was unbearable, leading him three years ago to change his trajectory and leave the prison system, building a sustainable life where he could become his daughter’s primary caregiver.
After many life changes focusing on work, building a stable home and moving to accommodate his daughter’s new school, he officially became his daughter’s caregiver on Nov. 25 and they will have their first Christmas together.
“It is heaven,” he said, describing his time with his daughter, whom he calls his “princess.”
“We do everything together,” he continued. “We cook together. We go to the gym together.”
The two are planning their first trip to New York City to see the tree at Rockefeller Plaza and enjoy the holiday.
Alliyah describes her reunion with her dad as feeling natural. She speaks with excitement about their upcoming trip to the Big Apple.
“My dad and I have always had a good relationship,” she said. “It doesn’t feel different.”
Alliyah said she especially enjoys supper with her dad with salmon and rice, one of their favorite dishes.
A life he did not want to live
Baird grew up in the Norwich/Griswold area and said he followed the crowd into a life that ended in and out of the prison system beginning at the age of 21.
He described it as “trying to find a way to get ahead and taking shortcuts.”
In the difficult moments, he said, he would always remember Alliyah.
“She is beautiful in her soul and has always been a good kid,” he said.
Nearly two years ago, Baird began working with the Connecticut Department of Children and Families housing program, receiving a housing voucher and other services including guidance on managing bills and long-term stability, according to DCF. He worked with DCF to reunify with his daughter.
“Supportive housing I think was crucial in his success because they are a wraparound service,” said Kelly Duque, permanency social worker for DCF. “It is a phenomenal resource we have for clients because they do a case management portion in addition to helping with housing.”
Baird traveled long distances for court dates, worked many 24-hour shifts, addressed financial challenges and moved from Milford to Norwich to enable his daughter to attend the Norwich Free Academy.
Working third shift where he power washes commercial kitchen hoods, Baird would often begin the day at 3 p.m. attending classes to help him secure primary custody, followed by work at 10 p.m. He would often not return home until 6 a.m.
But Baird said every challenge was worth it to become his daughter’s primary caregiver.
“I was already working 50 hours a week,” he said. “My schedule was so full I would sleep two hours a day.”
Duque said DCF helped Baird “identify the goals that he needed to achieve for the department but also for himself and for his future.
“Our goal is to set him up for success and knowing that supportive housing is going to stay involved even when we close, knowing he will have that support a bit longer, I think he will be able to maintain his stability,” she said.
Duque said Baird was able to overcome his challenges in letting his guard down.
“I think it took him a while to trust that we seriously wanted to look at him as a reunification option and If he was willing to do the work we were going to do what we could to support him in achieving that,” she said.
Resilient and capable
Reflecting on his work to reunite with his daughter, Baird said he sees himself as resilient and capable.
The same can be said of his daughter, Alliyah, according to Duque, describing her as “one of the most resilient teens I have ever met.”
She said she is a high honor roll student who already received a $1,000 scholarship toward college.
Duque said that Alliyah always seemed to idolize her dad and that she had a close bond with him.
“He made every effort to see her when he could,” she said. “She lights up when she talks about her dad.”
Alliyah explained that even when she was not in communication with her father, the bond never went away.
And for Baird, the same holds true.
One of the activities Baird enjoys the most with his daughter is going to the gym three times a week, with exercise being an important part of both of their lives. Alliyah has expressed interest in joining track at school.
“I like working out,” Baird said, describing how the values of exercise are reminiscent of life, including the importance of delayed gratification and that you can’t expect something right away.
The harder you work, he said, the more results you will achieve.
He hopes to pass that important message on to his daughter.
“Nothing that is good comes easy,” he said.
Reflecting on his relationship with his daughter, Baird said that family is everything to him.
“They are a part of us,” he said. “They need us. They are dependent on us.”
Looking back on his life, Baird said he wants to give people hope.
“If I can do it, anyone trying to do it can do it,” he said.